a month after

Today has made 1 month. 1 month since i am here. It has seem much longer to me…

I am starting to figure out what is it to live with something that hurts inside. I can not recall that i have been hurt for such a long time. Some time its ok, and then the pain is there again. And i know that even if i am ok now, the pain will be back again. Strange thing to be alive and to live with an invisible scar, this huge wound inside of me which open and close all the time, but no one can see it.

I have been wondering the other day, while sitting in the subway, how would we look if we could see everyone’s wound?

I have mine, i live with it each day. I still cannot believe that i left the man i loved, my home, and everything else. But to think about it is so painful, and i have to think of the future, of my future… and let go of the past…

let go is such a hard thing… i once thought i knew how…

to trust day after day, with this wound in my chest.

I desesperately miss my cats, i still dont know when i will be able to have them with me. I am getting back on my feet and looking for work at the same time, trying to figure out where am i going.

I cant wait for the day when i will have my cats living with me again, you couldnt belive how i miss their companionship and unconditional love and affection. I hope soon they will be back with me.

Author: m-c

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